For a lot of our clients this holiday season will be their first sober Christmas and New Years, which brings about a lot of excitement and gratitude for their new lives.  They will know what it feels like to truly enjoy giving instead of receiving.  After all, there is no better gift they could give to their families than the gift of sobriety.  They might even discover that a season they used to dread is not only enjoyable but something they will look forward to in the future.

However, for some of our clients (and recovering alcoholics and addicts in general for that matter), celebrating this holiday season sober with family and friends isn’t an exciting prospect, its downright scary.  What is one to do if the family drinks and drugs the way he used to before he got sober?  What if he’s the only one there not drinking?  What if his alcoholic father picks a fight with him AGAIN?  Is it possible to stay sober through this stuff?

Any recovering person would tell you the answer to that question is an emphatic “yes”!  It is not only possible, it is a guarantee as long as the recovering alcoholic/addict is willing to stay sober and willing to take the suggestions of his fellow recovering alcoholics and addicts.

For our clients, we require a plan in writing before leaving to spend time with their families.  If that plan does not include talking to their sponsor and other recovering folks while away, they cannot go.  If the plan does not include attending 12-step meetings, they cannot go.  If that plan does not include a willingness to go to any length to stay sober, they cannot go.  We have found the best solution to staying sober during these “firsts” is a solid plan that is laid out ahead of time mapping hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute.  It’s a solution that works for our clients and has worked for many recovering alcoholics and addicts.

Here’s hoping everyone has a sober, safe, and happy holiday!

Technorati Tags: addiction counseling blog, addiction recovery for men, families of recovering addicts, live life drug free, overcoming obstacles to recovery, sobriety as a way of life

As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.
—Marion Anderson

Because of our resentments we sometimes get tense. We say we aren’t going to have contact with our parents until they do something we expect of them. Or we hold out on a friend because we want an apology for an injury or injustice.

Sadly, we become more tense, more limited in our own joy, by holding someone else to our expectations. Our lives can be much richer and more fulfilled when we let go of these expectations. We can let go of manipulating or drawing forth the responses we want. Our manipulations and pouting make life too boring and limited. No one else need stand in the way of our pleasure of being adult men.

Today, I will let go of my claims on others so I can be free to soar.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is. —George F. Will

At our meetings, we often hear stories of the courage of ordinary people and their triumph against great odds. When we hear of a person’s life being restored, we are witnesses to miracles. Our friends are heroes and so are we. As a man describes his passage from insanity to recovery, we are moved. Whenever we are truly open to knowing the people around us, whether at a meeting or in getting to know a neighbor, we will see heroism. It is amazing that when we get to know most people, and hear what their lives have been like, we find so much to admire and respect. It is a privilege to have such friends. It is amazing that they are so abundant when we open ourselves to them. God truly does speak to us through others.

I am grateful when I think about the extraordinary people around me and the courage in each of them. I am grateful to be among them.

From Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

Technorati Tags: courage in addiction recovery, overcoming obstacles to recovery